Falling for the second time
by SevLovesLily
Summary: post-s8: Metatron's spell didn't just make all the angels in Heaven fall - it made /all/ the angels fall. Lucifer included. The Cage doesn't hold him back anymore, and of course, the first and only thing on his mind is to find Sam.


**This was a request that I really liked and ended up making much longer than expected. And now it's my headcanon for season 9 or at least things that I really want to happen, oops.**

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Metatron's spell didn't just make all the angels in Heaven fall—it made _all_ the angels fall. It makes sense, really, considering that his motive was because he wanted all the angels to live human lives and come back with stories, not to just empty out Heaven.

So Lucifer and Michael fall too, except, because they're coming from the Cage, they go in the opposite direction, and it's more of a metaphorical fall than a real one.

Lucifer fell before, but not in the way that any other angels have ever fallen. He was cast down. Rather than having his wings ripped off, he was simply imprisoned. And then the same happened to Michael, but it was more of an accident than a punishment. And he's spent far less time down there than Lucifer has.

But now, his wings, along with Michael's, _are_ ripped off, unceremoniously and practically without warning. They find themselves inexplicably climbing their way up through the cracks of the earth until they find an empty niche that turns out to be a geyser. They're shot out of the ground and onto unsuspecting tourists along with scorching hot water.

Well, Lucifer is, at least. He isn't sure about his brother or that poor kid, Adam. Since it was suddenly possible to escape from the Cage, though, he guesses that it must have simply just lost its use, which means that Adam could very well be on earth again, too.

Heart beating fast and his breathing rushed, Lucifer brushes himself off and doesn't give a second glance to the tourists as he pushes past them and immediately tries to find out where he is. All he knows is that his wings are gone, he's powerless, he's on earth, and—worst of all—he can't feel Sam anymore. So of course, all he wants is to find Sam.

Within minutes, Lucifer finds that he's in New Zealand, and he realizes that he has Nick's body again. It makes sense because Sam's body and soul left the Cage a while ago, and though he thinks that he probably should be, Lucifer isn't all that disappointed. With the apocalypse having been stopped about four years ago and the fact that he's not an angel anymore, having Sam as a vessel isn't necessary or even desirable to him anymore. Besides, appearing as Nick would be much easier than appearing to Sam as a perfect clone of him.

The main issue is that Lucifer really does look like he just crawled his way up from Hell, and he doesn't have any money. But of course, this is the man who used to be Satan himself, so he has no problem, in either moral or skill, stealing a new set of clothes and enough money to book a flight to America.

It's been quite literally forever since he's been this high above the ground, and Lucifer supposes it's the closest he'll get to feeling like an angel again. He uses all of his time on the long flight to try to get over the overwhelming thoughts of how is he now the one thing he's despised for millions of years, the thing he refused to love and got cast out of Heaven for.

He may or may not be crying in the bathroom for a solid ten minutes of the flight.

By the time the plane lands in Kansas, Lucifer still hasn't come to terms with it, but he feels slightly better. And also a little nauseous, which feels much worse than it would on any normal human because he's never felt anything similar to that feeling before. He really, _really_ loathes being human.

The sense of being lost and confused is stronger than it's ever been now that he can't see or hear anything beyond what's right in front of him, now that he can't feel his wings behind him or any power inside him—now that he knows that if he were to be hurt right now, he wouldn't be able to fix it. He would, indeed, die from being stabbed or shot, and that terrifies him.

The last Lucifer remembers from watching Sam, he and Dean were trying to complete the last trial to shut the Gates of Hell. And the only reason he knows for sure that they didn't complete them is because Sam wasn't down there crawling out of the Cage with him. That's one of the only comforts to him right now—that Sam is alive.

Lucifer's best guess at where Sam is right now, at about one o'clock in the afternoon a couple days after the Fall, is in the bunker that he's seen Sam at so much. Having been in Sam's mind for nearly his whole life has had its perks, and even now that he's human, he remembers how to get there. The problem is that buses don't go out there and he doesn't know have to drive, so for over an hour, he has to walk.

Walking is exhausting and Lucifer hates it.

It's worth it, though, when he finds the bunker and sees the Impala out front, and it's even worth the enormous surge of nervousness that pools in his gut when he knocks and waits.

He's extremely relieved to be greeted by Sam instead of Dean, though the look on Sam's face briefly makes him feel otherwise.

"Sam—"

Before he can say anything else, there's holy water being squirted on him with a child's squirt gun, at which he blinks, sputters some of the water out of his mouth, and tries again. "_Sam_—"

"You're not real," is what Sam says, his voice deep and cracked from being sick. "I stopped seeing you everywhere a long time ago, and you need to _stay_ gone—"

"If I was a hallucination, why would I be showing up at the door?" Lucifer presses, holding the door open to make sure Sam doesn't close it on him. "I fell with the other angels, Sam. I'm human again. I couldn't hurt you even if I wanted to, now."

He seems to believe that, but he's still hesitant about opening the door further.

"So... you became human, and the first thing you did was find me."

"Of course." Lucifer frowns and inches closer. "I couldn't feel your presence anymore, so I had to be where you were, and you're the only one I can trust—"

He means to keep explaining, but in the next second the door to the bunker is slamming shut loudly, and he's on the ground with the wind knocked out of him with Sam standing over him and holding him by the shirt collar.

"So you think that after all you've done, you can just waltz back here while I'm weak as _shit_ and think that we can be best friends?" he shouts down at Lucifer, veins pulsing at his neck in anger. Lucifer knows it before it happens, and he just closes his eyes to brace himself for Sam clenching a fist and punching him square in the face—about four times in a row.

The physical pain is something he can't honestly say that he's felt before, but the fact that it's Sam doing it that's worse to him. His literal other half is angry enough to hurt him like this, and his soul itself is hurting, but he lets it happen. Lucifer doesn't try to get away from Sam (he's probably not even strong enough to do so) and doesn't try to fight back, not even as Sam pulls him up to his feet by the shirt and then shoves him against the outer wall of the bunker.

"Do you know how many people died because of you and your fucking demon army, and how long I've gone feeling insane, and how long I've even gone _without a soul_ because of you?" Sam screams at him, and Lucifer just winces and tries to breathe through the blood in his mouth and nose while he continues to get beaten and continues to let it happen.

He may not be able to feel Sam anymore, but he can still sense, in a way, how angry he is. And honestly, Lucifer feels he deserves this. Clearly Sam does, at least.

At some point his eyes are so swollen he can barely see out of them, and he thinks one of his ribs might even be broken, but he still does nothing but look straight at Sam and wait for more punches and kicks.

But they don't come. Sam pulls him up completely and pushes him against the bunker with less harshness than he did before, looking frustrated and confused, and nearly shouting, "Why aren't you fighting back? Why are you just _taking_ it?"

"Because I told you I would never hurt you," Lucifer tells him quietly, still managing to sound sure of himself through all the blood in his mouth and the weakness in his chest. Sam's expression falls and Lucifer's hands reach out to his face as though to catch it. "Sam... I'm so sorry. I tried to give you everything... And—I didn't honestly think you'd be happy to see me, but you're all I have."

It's as though those words break something inside of Sam, and he lets go of Lucifer entirely but doesn't step back far enough for Lucifer to not be able to touch him.

"I... I'm—_shit_, I'm sorry," he says low enough for it to be a whisper, frowning at what he did to Lucifer's face and reaching out before he realizes that he probably shouldn't touch it. That's how Sam always is, willing to give the benefit of the doubt—especially to a being that he's been connected to since before birth, and whom he has, in all honesty, missed. "...I was angry."

"I know." Strangely enough, Lucifer doesn't sound like he's in pain.

"You don't have to forgive me—"

"I do, though. I deserved all of that."

Sam doesn't know whether or not he agrees with that, but after a few moments of hard thought, he steps away and goes to open the door to the bunker back up, taking Lucifer's forearm gently. "Come on, I'm gonna get you cleaned back up. You're gonna be a Hell of a thing to explain to Dean and Cas, though."

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After the initial, angry "Sam, what the fuck is this," it gets gradually easier for Dean to understand. Cas understands even more quickly. But of course, Sam knows exactly why it's difficult, at first, for them to grasp that Lucifer's not here to hurt any of them and that, in fact, Sam _wants_ him here.

"You have your angel, I get mine," he tells Dean while putting disinfectant on places where Lucifer's skin is split open and trying not to smile at the way he winces at the pain.

It turns out that Lucifer's rib is luckily not broken, and it's mainly just his face that needs actual treating. Sam wonders if, back when he was still an angel, Lucifer would have been able to heal the same way that Cas did. And when he asks about it, he gets a sharp laugh and a _No_.

"Being in Hell for millions of years does things to you, Sam. I could break necks with a thought and start a fire with a snap of my fingers, but heal? No, that was just for those who weren't cast down. So, everyone but me."

"So your entire reputation and the reason so many people hate you is essentially what your own family made you," Sam muses softly, sitting across from him. Lucifer nods and is extremely relieved that he understands. Well—that he's _admitting_ he understands, now. "Speaking of which, did Michael get out, too?"

"I'm fairly sure, yes. And so did Adam, I think. He's a demon by now, and one more twisted than you've ever seen. I wouldn't be surprised if he comes after you."

Sam's expression is wide-eyes and a slack jaw and full of _Well shit, we forgot to save Adam_—and he's about to voice it when Lucifer straightens in his seat and thoughtlessly slides his hand over Sam's.

"I, um—I'm still not quite used to being a human, and I really don't think I ever will be, but if you want, I'll help you. With hunting and fighting Adam or Metatron or whoever else these days, I mean."

Lucifer swallows and tries to make his heart calm down, and he'd like to kiss Sam right now if he had any reason to believe Sam would let him.

The strain in his neck gives it away so Sam notices, but he just smiles and accepts Lucifer's hand because he's pretty sure a kiss would hurt him, considering the state of his face.

"Of course you can help."

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**If season 9 isn't full of fluffy samifer I will be disappointed.**


End file.
